Bakit kaya ayaw pumila ng Pinoy? a.k.a. My own SONA

July 25, 2011, 8:15 a.m. A few minutes ago, I received a text message from Jenny – “Ma, I fell inside the train – I was pushed and lost my footing.” In a few more minutes, she limps her way into the house. While changing from her street clothes, we discover lumps and bruises close to her elbows and on her thighs and legs. “Thanks, God,” I whispered, for it could have been worse.

Mondays, Jenny goes to work via MRT. Her car's plate number ends with 1 and can therefore be on the road only from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Mondays. Thus she’s off around 7 a.m. ready to go through the looonnnnng line just to get inside the MRT (North EDSA) station and the insane melee that ensues once the train doors are opened. Until this morning, she has so far avoided anything worse than being elbowed.

While keeping the ice pack on the biggest lump close to her left ankle, Jenny recounted how she shouted at the people inside the train – “Bakit kayo nanunulak?!!!? Wala ba kayong pinag-aralan!!??!” The sadder thing here is that she boarded the coach for women, pregnant women, women with children, the elderly, the disabled. She said no one helped her get up or apologized or showed any sign of being affected by her remark. “No one could look me in the eye, Mom.”

This incident may be minor to some and major to me only because it happened to my daughter. Maybe. Nevertheless, it concretely conveys my own take on the State of the Nation today.

Whatever the President says in his SONA (State of the Nation Address) which he will deliver before Congress and the rest of the country this afternoon, one thing is clear to me – we have gone so low as a people. Until we are able to disengage from our being caught up in ourselves without any concern for others – at home, in the office, in the supermarket, at the MRT station, everywhere and anywhere -- we will continue to be less than what God meant human beings to be. We will continue to be more like the lower forms of God’s creations. But then, I am reminded that even animals and other lower species have their codes of conduct. Study the wolves and the geese and the dolphins and the ants. They have better sense of other-ness (if there is such a word) and team. Why then?

I have been engaged in much talk about the “kapwa” psychology lately -- that at the very core of the Filipino is an awesome sense of his kapwa, a shared identity that melds self with the others, a concern for neighbor and community over self. But more and more, I share what Eugene said last Friday – it is too good to be true, a goal rather than reality. From what I have been seeing and at the rate things have been going for so long, perhaps a figment of one's imagination? An "impossible dream?"

I have yet to read related dissertations and writings on loob and sarili. But I suspect the Filipino’s problem is right there -– inside. And there is no excuse to leave it at its present sordid state even if it's something Pinoys share with the rest of mankind.

I usually ride the car to wherever I have to go. But I sometimes also take the MRT or a cab or a jeepney or the FX. I walk the sidewalks of Quezon City, the malls in Ortigas and Makati, etc. Time and again, I am frustrated to see more negative behavior than I wish there were.

And I do not just see such behavior among sidewalk vendors or the tambay or the street families, the barkers at the FX terminal or the security guards at the Mall. I also see them exhibited by the white-collar workers, the uniformed professionals like the nurses, caregivers; the students; executive-looking men and women; etc. And also by the class of people who frequent such places as Shangri-la Plaza Mall, Power Plant or Greenbelt -- the wealthy-looking well-coiffed matron whose designer bag is in the tight clutches of yaya walking beside her; or the English-speaking young family at Sumo Sam or Tender Bob's; likewise the elderly guy with a bratty boy in tow who is probably his apo; or the one in a wheelchair being pushed by a nurse; or the bespectacled techie surfing endlessly on his laptop at Starbucks or UCC.

They are why I do not agree with something Jenny said at the MRT this morning. It is not because walang pinag-aralan. Sadly it is something more basic, something beyond schooling, perhaps more due to parenting or "pagpapalaki." I am reminded of what Sansan says about breeding, as she relates another incident that shows striking similarities between some of her uppity acquaintances and the squatters in Guadalupe outside the compound where she used to stay -- "Lu, you either have it or you don't, rich or poor, young or old, schooled or unschooled."

At the root of it all, I see the negative kind of pride – yabang, pagiging makasarili, walang paki sa iba. Basta makarating ako sa pupuntahan ko. Basta makuha ko ang gusto ko. Basta magawa ko sa pamamaraan ko. Ko. Ako. Akin. Sarili.

I see various versions of claiming one’s entitlements. Or simple unmindful unconcerned “wala lang.” Without fail, one finds in their wake someone deprived of his or her own right, someone hurt, someone’s freedom usurped. Ano ba naman, kuya?!!!???

This IS the State of the Filipino nation today. Call me a pessimist. KJ? Pintasera? Reklamista? Critical spirit? But I just find it such a challenge to find more positive behavior than negative ones on the streets of Metro Manila today.

What do I do about this? Well, I am increasingly more careful and trying harder to behave properly at all times, not just because, but precisely because I know I was created for a good and noble purpose. (Of course being human, I fail at times, though I honestly try hard to do so less and less.) Starting with the simplest, "noble purpose" cannot include winning in a jostling match just to win a seat onto the MRT, or slyly maneuvering my cart to be first in line to the cashier at the supermarket or squeezing my way at the taxi lane, or elbowing the woman beside me to grab hold of the only remaining Size XXXL blouse at the Rustan’s sale.

I now also remind those close to me to do the same. I bring up these issues with family and friends, which by the way often ends with more horrific accounts of the obnoxious, the disconcerting, the downright stupid incidents which have seemingly become second nature to the beautiful, smiling, hospitable people of the Pearl of the Orient. I also write these little pieces which I hope will get at least one other person thinking, and then doing more of his or her bit.

I know there are so many others doing the same and doing more than I am. Obviously though, we need to do more and many more ought to do the same. There are 90M of us and growing -- I guess being 65, it's not likely that I will see the change I am hoping for in my lifetime.

On second thought, God is in control so, who knows? Maybe I will.