Limping and dancing

I had polio when I was two.

But unlike the neighbors who brought their kids who were also hit by the epidemic for daily treatment with the traditional hilot, my Dad opted for daily injections for me instead. I still remember how I would cry those mornings at the very sight of our family doctor. That went on for months, I think.

As a resut, my right leg is a couple of cms shorter than my left whereas the kids who were treated by the hilot have one leg so much shorter than the other, some looking grotesque as they dangled with every movement. 

People who know tell me that my limp is discernible only when I am in a hurry.

I have never really been especially conscious that I limp. When I reached my teens, my Dad would often tell my Mom that it’s good that they decided the way they did otherwise how would I have survived my love for dancing! I loved to dance. Not that I am good at it but I am just always happy dancing.

This morning, God showed me my limp in a different light.

The last couple of months have been difficult for me emotionally. I have never been so low like at this time (still not completely back, but getting there). But God has been faithful as He always is and so here I am -- on the edge, contemplating the plunge in a clinical sort of way but standing firm somehow. 

That can only be God. It can’t be me or anyone or anything else. It’s only God for sure. My reading this morning confirms this. Though quite personal, I post my notes here to glorify the Choreographer Who makes me dance as I limp through life.

“The limping phase

“We need to experience pain to learn and grow.

Jacob limps toward Esau, bows before him in humility (Genesis 33: 3), reminding us of our need for God every step of the way. This is like Paul’s thorn in the flesh. What reminds me of my need for God which I should remember with every step I take today? What is my limp? God’s will does not want pain for us but He will use our pain to build our character.

“I need God for each and every step I take today.

“Lord Jesus, I recognize that You are at work in my life. You want me to be a person fit for eternity. Even my limp You will use for my good. It will remind me that I need You with each and every step I take today. My destination is assured. You have prepared it and You have prepared me. And even if You have, You take the journey with me. I thank You, God, for Your unconditional and unwavering love. In Jesus’ Name, amen.”

With each step today, I whisper God’s Name. I hold on to His hand. I listen for what He has to tell me along the way. I start the day, limping still. But wonder of wonders, it feels like dancing.